50 Funny Facebook Status Messages
By My Digest
Here are 50 Funny facebook status messages collected from the internet. C'mon make your own status messages too!
- decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire!
- thinks that a bad thing about a good thing is that it always comes to an end.
- If a cop stops me and says "papers" and I say "scissors" do I win?
- Why be difficult, when with a bit of effort, you can be totally impossible!
- wondering why every woman is wrong until she cries, and then, viola, she is right, instantly!
- I'm not high maintenance. I am just a precious cargo with lavish instruction for upkeep.
- You know you're getting fat when you sit in your bathtub and the water in the toilet rises.
- Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant.
- One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and too stubborn to ask for directions
- taking a picture of a flower does not make you a photographer......
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- Glow-in-the-dark condoms: now you see it, now you don't!
- says In about 50 years from now, tombstones will read 'Beloved Wife, Mother, Sister, Daughter, and Facebook friend
- If Satan ever loses his hair, there'll be hell toupee!
- A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin
- I am used but in good condition
- It would be some much easier for me to be compassionate, if compassionate meant smacking people in the head.
- Don't you wonder why people look back at the same spot when they trip over it? As if the sidewalk is going to talk back or laugh at them.
- Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that you're not really friends with them?
- a guy knocked on my door today asking for a donation for the local primary school's pool. I went away and came back with a cup of water..... Is that wrong?
- a paper cut is a trees last revenge =)
- Is anyone going to put anything funny on here?????
- If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other.
- Dismayed! I don't even know how to spell anymore. I type the 1st half of the word and wait for auto correct to do the rest.
- moving sucks! why didn't anyone invented copy and paste for real life?
- Some people get so upset when you delete them from your fb friends list. What is the big deal it's not like we're real friends and hang out everyday.
- says "Dear Mathematics, please grow up and solve your own problems."
- Skinny jeans aren't for everybody...
- says don't look at me in that tone of voice
- Dear God, I've been very good today, no grumpy thoughts, no swearing and I haven't been mean at all, but I'm about to get up now and I may need your help :))))))
- Drama Queens/Kings, Hypocrites, two-faced, exaggerators and fake people can all be found on Facebook!!!
- Honestly, when I crawled out of bed this morning I had no intention of being brilliant, but sometimes things just work out!
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- In an interview, "I can multitask housework with facebook!"
- Addicted to facebook and terrified of being offline!
- has successfully licked one of my elbows!
- is now listed as single but in a relationship, it's complicated.
- When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving.
- What is fat, ginger and pregnant? Nothing....
- wants to merge MySpace, Facebook, YouTube and Twitter and call it: MY FACE YOU TWIT.
- Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
- Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
- if you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito
- Why is bra singular and panties plural?
- The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.
- Precision. Concentration. Patience. Fearlessness. Four skills I possess while shaving my nuts that I wish I could apply to other aspects of my life.
- I swear my pillow could be a hairstylist I always wake up with the wierdest hairdos
- is trying to remember what we all used to do before facebook was invented
- remembers the day when blackberry and apple were just fruit..
- I heard the Japanese have invented a camera with a shutter so fast that it can actually photograph a woman with her mouth shut! Isn't that amazing? Before you show your hurt feelings, just keep in mind THIS IS A JOKE, no one can create a camera that FAST
- dear Santa, let me explain...
- When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets
- Just when you think you got the answer...someone changes the question.
Comments
This was great. I laughed all the way through.
Missi and Sam: You love facebook too? LOL gotcha!
*Misty
Please follow me i am following you
These are hilarious! I'm using them...
Gosh, I can't follow you. No name. No link and no photo :( When you show up, I will!
Dutch84: Go and have fun with it!
*Misty
Thanks for this, plenty of laughs.
Poor kid...suddenly I have a craving for bacon.
Thank you for the laughter. This was a great break and just what I needed to put a smile on my face. :)
Lol, definitely a page I'll be revisiting, thanks for that I shall be using a lot of them in the upcoming few days...
Zaheer :-)
Pretty funny. Kudos.
okaii?? xx
LAMO 2 gud!!
keep laughing..it's good medicine! :) :D Appreciate your visits!
*Misty
very funnyy!!!!
These are actually very funny!!! They'll be used on some of my statuses!
Awesome! Funny ! Hilarious! Joining your fan club to stay connected and would like to invite you too.
Voted up! and Funny! these are really great, some of them are side-splitting, I'm saving this one!
Greatest hub ever!!! haha :D I'll bet you had fun writing that one!
You did a great job. They are very very very funny :D I'm going to rememeber thus hub for a long time!!!!
This is the funniest hub I've read so far. Great job!
These were great!
Try this one:
"My email is so messy I'm adding "Directed by M Night Shyamalan" to the footer as a explanation."
Glad you guys are having a blast with these funny facebook statuses. Appreciate your visits! Now go and post something on facebook! LOL
has successfully licked one of my elbows!
EPIC
i love these statuses..its so like my kinda statuses..!!!:D
These are awesome!!!!!! FB fans add me!
Awesome.
l0l w0t a laugh . . . w0t great satutus msgs. . .
Enjoy facebook :)
*Misty
this are realy realy hilarious---------and ive become a Fb star funny man with them
"Dear Mathematics, please grow up and solve your own problems."
Drama Queens/Kings, Hypocrites, two-faced, exaggerators and fake people can all be found on Facebook!!!
These two are doing great :)
This is one of the better facebook status sites....love it
lol definately evryday use.. i m already using dem thankz
hi! dued
AwSm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AwSm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HA HA HE HE!!!
i am; but WHAT Am i???
Hameed Ur Rehman SUROOR
Some are good?
i guess.
I got so excited at first until i read that it was just a joke, that there was no way they could invent a camera that fast,lmao
I think the best text is:
When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.
Do you continue to post more stuff?
Really nice work.
Awesome thank you so much
itz awEsOMe !!!! !!! !!!
but it sometimes hurtz... ... ... :)
great!!! Hilarious!!! I'll definitely be revisiting!!1
haha!
i love these Statussss!!!
i?em
"Trust is like an Eraser, it gets Smaller after each Mistake" ~ ZQ
all o des quotes r too old eh!! :/ blah#
Thanks for the smile on my face.
haha,tx , have fun
LMFAO 2 2 2 2 2 good, thanks 4 the smile and laughs, surely has made my day
i luv to status cos its realy hilarious
These are awesome
These are hilarious and I especially laughed at a particular one which goes: "remembers the day when blackberry and apple were just fruit".
I think I'm going to use that one!
Awesome thanks :)
superrrrrrrrrrrrr
The one about apples and blackberry appropriate for the RIM drama thats happening now
love them all , great collection ^^
status for Blackberry "isn't writing a message"
this is outstanding ,
i already use most of it on my facebook wall .
you also can find more at
Eight man r raping a woman ..the woman is laughing nonstop ..so after the men get bugged n ask her y she laughing ..she replies " mujhe AIDS hai "
I lavd t! Tz so funny!mwahz...
add me on facebook
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Swearing/94785499487/profile.php?id=100001385956393
east or west rajini is always best
Love them most I have never heard before, had me and my brother inlaw crackin up
lmao
i belive that thease stattuses will make people laugh out loud,Idont lol much but i do say it . also its funny because i laughed at the 8th one lmao now thats funny stuff lol
its great
Very funny. Indeed these statuses will make an impression on friends and people who read their feed.
awsom i luvd 'em but guys u shood at lest tri 2 b more funner!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i really like these comments... i saved some for my messenger!:Ps
I wish these were funnier! But i just use them 4 other things, not 4 FACEbook!
really funny
Missi Darnell 2 years ago
Very funny! They are all great and a few I have seen on facebook.